Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Reviews!!!

I've been enjoying this blog recently, called Reviews Reviews Reviews. Basically, they're all about assigning arbitrary values to anything at all. For example, in the last week or so:

Scientology received 2%
Hats received 65%
Bob Seger received 90%
Radishes received 70%
The Robertson Screw received 91%
Notorious (movie) received 56%
Bride Wars (movie) also received 56%

It's all pretty great, if you ask me.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Things I learned from IMDB

Reading the comment boards on IMDB can be quite an enlightening experience. There are so many fans and trolls with something to say, I learn something new each time I visit. For example:
  • The word "ambientation": A commentor notes that the movie Pumpkinhead has good ambientation. You can go ahead and use that in your next film class assignment.
  • Pulp Fiction is a "snooze-fest": Heroin overdoses, people's heads being shot off, armed robberies, gimps, rape, and intimidating mob bosses are all all pretty boring. Couldn't they have put something a little more exciting in here?
  • Prison is made to look "nice" in The Shawshank Redemption: It's been a while since I watched it, but didn't he get raped and beaten multiple times while in jail?
  • If Maggie Gyllenhall showed her boobs, The Dark Knight would have gotten an Oscar nomination: Just like Kate Winslett.

Friday, January 16, 2009

TED and the Art of Baking Bread

A friend of mine recently introduced me to the TED series of talks available online. It's a difficult concept to describe, but essentially it consists of brief presentations given by various specialists and professionals on topics that they know a lot about. The topics can cover almost anything under the sun, so you never quite know what you're going to get, but it's almost always interesting and engaging.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the latest talk is by master baker Peter Reinhart. I've been using Reinhart's book "American Pie" as a basis for my pizza making and based on that experience, I can tell you that the guy clearly knows a lot about bread and about pizza. Check him out:

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I'd Watch It: "The Homesick Alien"

Note: I'd Watch It is a new feature. Basically, I make up a very fanciful synopsis for a ridiculous movie in my head and then piece together a soundtrack that will set the tone for my imaginary film.

Plot: Max, an alien from a distant planet, crashlands on Earth after he is separated from his flight squadron and struck by space debris. His ship damaged beyond repair, Max assumes a human form and begins a new life in mountainous Colorado as a ski instructor. Years pass and he becomes romantically involved with Haley, a young librarian who comes to him for instruction. Just as things begin to get serious, Max has an accident caused by faulty ski bindings, flies off the trail, and winds up unconscious. When Haley finds him, she is horrified to discover that he is returning to his scaley purple alien form and his secret is revealed. Unable to console her, Max flees and a military manhunt begins for the extra-terrestrial. It seems things couldn't possibly get worse when Max learns that a rescue team from his homeworld has found his crash location after years of searching. They intend to evacuate Max and then destroy the planet, lest the Earthlings ever decide to come looking for them. Now Max must choose between returning to the homeworld he misses dearly and saving the woman who showed him true love (but is repulsed by him).

Soundtrack:
Smashing Pumpkins - "Spaceboy"
Tori Amos - "Space Dog"
Patti Smith - "Looking For You (I Was)"
Radiohead - "Subterranean Homesick Alien"
Sonic Youth - "Silver Rocket"
The Stooges - "Search and Destroy"
Franz Ferdinand - "Outsiders"
Garbage - "Alien Sex Fiend"
David Bowie - "Life on Mars?"
Elton John - "Rocket Man"
Nat King Cole - "Fly Me to the Moon" (closing credits)

Friday, January 9, 2009

2008 in Music

I made a top 10 list of 2008 albums about a month ago for a local message forum I frequent, but I already regret some of my choices and placements. I suppose I should take heart in knowing that these lists are entirely arbitrary anyway and that probably not many people paid attention to it. For my own amusement and peace of mind, I've revised the list as follows:









1. Frightened Rabbit - The Midnight Organ Fight
2. Mates of State - Re-arrange Us
3. Why? - Alopecia
4. Sigur Rós - Med sud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust
5. Hot Chip - Made In The Dark
6. The Notwist - The Devil, You + Me
7. Ratatat - LP3
8. Ladytron - Velocifero
9. Bell - Bell (EP)
10. Portishead - Third

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Fun with Classifieds

From Fredericton Kijiji:
Wanted: orcarina
Price: $25.00
Address: Fredericton, NB
Date Listed: 06-Jan-09

hi i would like to buy a orcarina like the one that is in the game zelda
I was going to respond, but then I remembered that my ocarina can't make you time travel.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Praise Jebus for Photoshop

I have no idea where this came from or even how old it is, but it seemed worthy of sharing given the recentness of Christmas. Robin is so insensitive.


Learn about the origin of the panel
(CSBG!)

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title

I learned today that The Joy of Cooking has introduced a line of frozen foods, which seems to defy both the "Joy" and the "Cooking" aspects of the brand name. As one blog states (Eat Me Daily): "The Joy Of Cooking, our ass. More like The Joy Of Probably Getting Cancer From Standing Near The Microwave. We wash our hands of you."

For real.

I'm not one to entirely shun convenience foods. I understand why they exist and I think I understand why people buy them. I'll even suggest that they're a forgivable indulgence once in a while, in spite of my love of real cooking. This use of the JoC name, however, is disheartening. Some suits have chosen to take the mainstream's onetime bastion of real food and turn it into another branding opportunity for something entirely contrary to its very name and reason for existence. Fuck that.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Fun with Yahoo Answers II: Food & Drink Edition

Whoa! Have I really not posted anything since Dec. 17? I sure haven't! What can I say? It's been busy. I've been tired. I don't owe you shit. Yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, I'm still being thoroughly entertained by Yahoo Answers, so let's have some fun with that to kick off the new year. The food section has been particularly great lately. Recent favourites include:
  • What are ribs made of?
  • I want to drink a shot of pine sol?
  • R u ment 2 boil lasagne sheets?
  • Why is Giada De Laurentis so hot and sexy even though she cooks and eats a lot? How can I date her?
  • What is the difference between thick and thin coconut milk?
  • NON STARCH BREAD PLEASE HELLP?
  • This beer bottlecap won't twist off, what is going on?